Learning Styles for Couples?
Growing up, we were taught that kids had different learning styles and in order to be a good communicator (Communications Class 101), we needed to incorporate all the learning methods to a subject matter being taught: auditory, tactile (reading/writing), visual, kinesthetic. Then I began to think as I saw couples in therapy over the years. What if couples had a certain way in which they processed information?
Today, we are bombarded with A LOT of information! Everywhere we go, we are listening and looking; from roadside advertisements, to listening to music in our wireless earbuds. So, by the time you get home to your partner/spouse, you are most likely worn out by all the information you processed that day from work, the commute, etc. Do you think your partner is going to “hear you“ when you ask if he or she can put in a load of laundry? Perhaps he will. Perhaps she will say it only 4 times instead of 6. But how can you make sure your spouse hears you loud and clear the first time?
Limit screen times. You don’t need to spend so much time on Instagram and email. Allocate a certain part of the day for that, and make sure it doesn’t interfere with quality time spent with your spouse.
Notice the times your spouse DID respond: how did you say it? What time of day was it? Were you in the same room? Was one of you doing something else at the time? These seem like simple questions, but with some awareness, you’d be surprised as to what you discover!
Tune into your partner’s needs. Is she tired at the end of her day?Is he overwhelmed and needs to talk and hang out with you before going into “task mode”?
Use your empathy skills to create a nice atmosphere in your home, so you may benefit as well, and… Have fun with it!
