Your Emotions Are Valid (Even When They’re Called 'Too Much')

I’ve noticed something many of us struggle with as we grow and evolve: adapting to how other people respond to us. Often, I hear people say, “I feel like there’s a rule book I don’t know about.” I think they say this because, even when we’re doing our best—responding in the healthiest ways we’ve learned—it can feel disheartening when we don’t get the responses we hoped for in our relationships, whether those are close or more distant.

Why does this happen? I don’t believe it’s because these individuals lack social skills. We all have social skills as long as we’re reaching out and connecting.

I’ve found that when we start working on ourselves—when we get real and honest with our own emotions—we become more capable of telling others how we feel when they’ve hurt us. But sometimes, their response doesn’t fix the situation. In fact, it might make it worse. They might deny they hurt you at all. And at that point, there’s not much you can do to change their mind unless you insist, risking more conflict. So now you’re left with the hurt—and even worse, feeling alone.

So what do you do?

It’s time to look within again. You were vulnerable and shared how you felt, but you can’t always expect the other person to understand. In most cases, your friends will. But what if they can’t see your perspective? What if a friendship ends over something that could have been resolved?

Ask yourself: Why do I need them to understand? What would that change? Would you receive forgiveness? Would it create a better image of yourself?

Then ask: What is your part in this? Can you own that piece? Can you understand that they might not know how to respond to you—or that they might feel ashamed for hurting you? Or do you see it only as them purposefully hurting you?

Take a moment to be quiet with yourself. Offer forgiveness to yourself, knowing you haven’t always done things perfectly either. Then, extend that forgiveness to the person who hurt you. How does that shift your view of them—and of yourself? Can you both be imperfect beings, doing your best? Is it alright for them to learn at a different pace? Is it okay if they don’t “get it” yet—and that it’s not your fault or responsibility?

Thank you for going there. I hope this helps, and I’d love to hear what you think.

If you’d like to add a final call to action, let me know! You might consider inviting them to share their experiences or reflections—something like:

🌿 I’d love to hear your thoughts—drop a comment or share your own story of growth and learning below.

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My Poetry of Loss and Life

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Your Body Follows the Moon: A Journey Through Inner Timing